19 November 2007

I ain't cheatin with a machine...

...it just makes my voice sound clean.

27 October 2007

18 October 2007

Recent Internet Searches

breastfeeding and ibuprofen
breastfeeding and cocaine
"we played richard marx at our wedding"
Lafcadio Hearne
"Jackson Jones"
"Jackson Clanton"
"Jackson's Hole"
jaxworld blogger
Hubig's Pies
Sunshine Nursery, Brighton
Pennard Hill Farm Cottages
Dick Van Dyke
at what temperature is fever dangerous?

09 October 2007

29 September 2007

27 September 2007

07 March 2007

12 February 2007

Let me know
if you're coming
and I'll set aside a
mask and some beads
just for you.

10 January 2007


Australian Lamingtons and banana-nut bread from a 1940s Southern cookbook.

28 December 2006

the science of the thing; but ye seem to me to be born blind, and believe in your way you do still care something for your daughter after coming in the afternoon, with porters bringing chairs and tables, found it was surely a strange neighbourhood and house for a young lady to be

20 December 2006

Insomnia Cure, Hong Kong

First, choose the type of zombie you'll be confronting. They can be classic, slow-movers as in the original Night of the Living Dead, or they can move fast, 28 Days Later-style. Are animals affected? Because you'll want to stay away from the wet markets and other places where locals buy live food. Think through the details of the infection. Are you immune only because you haven't been bitten? Or is this a more apocalyptic situation--is there a disease you alone are immune to, in addition to the zombies (a sort of double alien threat you'll eventually have to confront, a la Day of the Triffids)? What kills the zombies? Is it the traditional destroying of the brainstem, and if so, are organs able to live on independently of their bodies if this brain stem remains intact? Do the zombies retreat when it's light outside? Take some time to consider all these possibilities before deciding.

Next, start to plan your immediate escape route. You are in a massive modern hotel with non-opening windows. This is not good. Think through every escape route, every guest, worker, visiting prostitute that might now be wandering the hallways, either livng or zombified. Who will you save? Is it worth checking down the hallway that your mother-in-law has not yet been turned into a zombie? If you call her on the phone, will the ringing of the phone alert the zombies in the hallway to her living presence? The elevators are certainly not safe, but the emeregency stairwells are a deathtrap as well. What would it take to break the windows and crawl along the ledge to mother-in-law's room, and then to make it all the way down to the walkway along the bay? What sort(s) of weapon can be found in a hotel room? Is there any way of making it the eight storeys downstairs to one of the restaurants where more suitable tools could be found? Or is the risk of re-animated abolone, sharks' fins, gigantic lobsters, and night cleaners too great? Consider all of this many times over, and in different ways.

What are your prospects if you escape the hotel? Where will you go? Hong Kong is an isalnd; you are on Kowloon, on the mainland. It makes sense to get across the bay and eventually band together with other living people to clear the island of all zombies, using the surrounding water as a barrier. Of course, this will be a problem if they learn to walk underwater as in the remake of Dawn of the Dead.

As always, the only hope of long-term survival is knowing how to pilot a plane or helicoptor. But this thought doesn't help your insomnia. Instead, re-imagine your escape plan from the hotel to the island, and how you go about hiding from, and disposing of, zombies once there. Keep going. It'll be light out soon.

08 December 2006

Excerpts From Recent Text Messages

Those doorknobs are £62. Each.

Making my mark.

Well, Angus, you want Zoe, you gots to talk to me!

Landslide at Hay Heath, might not be going anywhere.

It's not like they're Jean Painleve.

Don't vomit on me!

We are Ready to Rock with Debbie.

Liverpool is weird.

The woman's father ran the paper mill in Crossett!

Butcher has good lookin mince.


It's a dark day isn't it.

Go Carrie!

Oh wait, you can't get this text.

Is Strada too fancy?

02 December 2006

Alcoholic Gun Club

Spam of the Day

Why is the crowing of a rooster so regular, so persistent?
Although these swallows often nest as single pairs in cavities or nesting boxes, both adults and juveniles now gather on electrical wires by the dozens, socializing before they migrate. Driving the freeway or a narrow country road, you may glance up to a light pole where a large hawk sits in plain view. Ravens often travel in pairs, while crows are seen in larger groups.
Without flapping, it traces a leisurely, rising circle.
Herons nest in colonies, constructing their stick nests in adjoining trees or cramming several nests into one tree.
Quick and agile in rushing white water, they dive to the bottom of mountain streams for food, and use fast-flowing rivers for breeding.
This nondescript bird steps off a small boulder right into the torrent, and begins to peer under water.
Small forest birds, such as nuthatches and creepers may spend the night huddled together in tree cavities.
Putting out a feeder is easy.
Male Raggiana Birds of Paradise perform elaborate displays to attract females, sometimes even hanging upside-down with their wings pointing upward.
Just for a LARK, MARTIN and JAY decided to have a SWALLOW.
Their lives and ours depend on the daily transformation of sunlight, through photosynthesis, into energy.

22 November 2006

10 November 2006

This Weekend

Going to this, wish I were going to this, feeling inspired by this, unpacking boxes, writing about Chapter 5 of this.

Getting There

Befores and Afters

01 November 2006


Carpets ripped out and removed; wallpaper removed; upstairs floor sanded, stained and varnished; upstairs rooms painted, downstairs prepped; closet doors removed; kitchen door removed; kitchen cleaned, awaiting replacement; shed and patio cleared; floorboards awaiting placement on Friday; light fixtures ordered; rest of painting happening now; old flat packed; utilities switched over; closet floor varnished and walls painted and bathroom deepcleaned tomorrow; attic conversion starting Saturday; electrician and plumber coming next week; etc etc etc

Ectoplasmic Residue